It All Depends

Alexander Joseph Amsden was born on March 22, 2010 at Providence St. Joseph Hospital in Burbank, California. (I can almost hear the collective "Awww...")

Even with a somewhat challenging first week (A laborsome --- for Dallas, anyway --- 27-hours ending with a C-Section birth complicated by pneumonia that put him in the NICU for a full week), Lex is now home with Meg and me - happy, healthy and no worse for wear. Thanks for your prayers!

When we got home on Monday night, Meg looked at me and shot me the age-old question, "so, what do we do with him now?"

I laughed.

That's it. I didn't have a good answer --- I simply laughed (it's my coping mechanism; all right!)

AND THEN IT HIT ME...

Lex is, for all intents and purposes, my dependent. That's even how the government looks at him. On tax forms, he is listed as my "dependent."

He depends on me. Depends. Someone else depends on me --- for food, shelter, warmth, clothing, etc., etc. --- Aaaahhh!

I am the least dependent person I know. I'm pretty sure my wife Meg doesn't even depend on me! I've never heard her say to anyone, "my husband, Dallas - he's so dependable."

And I know I don't depend on myself. This isn't even a question of being independent --- this is an issue of being nondependent.

Even without a child, when I was predependent, I was nondependent. Now, I have a dependent, and I feel more undependent than ever.

How can a nondependent sufficiently provide for an overdependent? And, it's not like he is selfdependent, codependent or even quasidependent --- those are dependencies I can depend on!

How will this situation turn out? --- I guess it all depends...

Fatherhood And Professional Wrestling

Alexander Joseph is due on the 20th of March, meaning he could show up any time now. Meg and I have prepared as best we can for Lex's arrival. The nursery is set up, the car seat is in place, and the diapers await his appearing. It could be any day now (though both of our mothers would like him to wait until they arrive).

Now, I should say, by way of biographical information, that I am a life-long fan of professional wrestling. Ever since I was a little boy, I have loved pro wrestling. Yes, I know that many would argue that wrestling is "fake", but I would argue a different point: even though the matches and winners are predetermined, pro wrestling, known as sports entertainment, is a valid form of athletic theatrics.

Plus, as I always say to the Debbie-Downers out there, let a 6'10" man pick you up and throw you down on a canvas-and-plywood-covered trampoline, and see if you don't feel it a little bit. These men are stunt performers - athletic actors if you will - and they perform death-defying maneuvers on a daily basis all for the enjoyment of the rabid fan base (myself included). I've said it before, and I will say it again: pro wrestling is, indeed, very real.

Well, what does that have to do with the birth of Lex???
Good question...

Nothing.

Other than this: I have a quandary. My wife is convinced that she does not want me passing on this love of the squared circle to my son.

Yet, there's just one problem - Lex is due on the 20th of March, and WRESTLEMANIA XXVI is on the 28th!!!

Sorry, Meg, but I have a very real feeling that our son, who may be only a week old by this point, will be in his father's arms watching the biggest wrestling event of the year.

Lex will, undoubtedly, feel my heartbeat quicken during the Shawn Michaels-VS-The Undertaker main event. HBK is putting his career on the line against The Undertaker's 17-0 Wrestlemania win streak. This promises to be one of the greatest main events in wrestling history, second only (maybe) to when the Rock faced off against Hulk Hogan, Icon versus Icon!

Needless to say, there is a good chance - a very good chance - that my son will attend many wrestling events with his father.

We'll see how this blog post goes over with my wife. HaHa!