DDP - Exit Journey Part 05

My Humanism looks me in the eyes, challenging me to fight him in what I'm sure would be a self-apocalyptic throwdown of epic proportions. However, this time, I won't react and fight him; but I won't look away from him either. I refuse to lower my eyes.

We stare at each other, knowing each other's thoughts. My dark reflection is me, part of me, the unredeemed side of me that I've allowed to dwell for too long in this cave, unacknowledged.

My Humanism scoffs at my belief in the Divine. He scowls at the very mention of Providence. He believes only in the might of his own hand, his power tactics, his coercive means and his human charm.

Themes of "Might makes right" and "only the strong survive" reflect in his eyes along with whispers of, "you are what you make of yourself" and "always look out for Number One."

He is, for all intents and purposes, a cynic, nothing more. He calls himself a realist; but in actuality, he is a pessimist who looks only at the pain brought about by this physical world with no hope in the Divine Intervention brought about by the loving imminence of a transcendent God.

The irony is: My Humanism ignores the rain that pours around him. He gives no thought to the Presence that shines around him.

Here in this deep cave with stagnant air, a cool breeze brushes my face.
Then, a thought comes to me, almost as a whisper in the wind.
"Pick up your broken pieces."

I reach down and pick up one of the shards.
My Humanism shudders, "What are you doing, Dallas?"

I put the shard in my empty bag.
"You're coming with me," I say to my Humanism, "This cave does not belong to you."

Piece by piece, I pick up my broken soul and place it in the bag on my back.
The Light in the cave intensifies as Revelation sweeps over me.

These pieces of my soul have stayed for too long in darkness, not exposed to the light of Life.
This cave, my cave, is a place of solace, a place to unwind and unplug.
I should not fear this cave. This cave is part of the vast terrain of who I am, nothing to be feared.

Yet, by hiding my darkness here and letting it grow in strength in the darkness, I have allowed this cave to become haunted --- a Deep Dark Place --- rather than merely a place of solitude.
I have empowered those aspects of my unredeemed life by choosing to ignore them.
But not anymore.

I pick up the last shard and place it in the bag.
The cave is empty now, no longer haunted.

My eyes move upward toward the cave's opening, and I begin my ascent.

Later, I emerge from the cave with my backpack of shards.
Here I am a broken man with all of my soul now exposed to the Light.

I now carry my brokenness with me, as both a reminder of my humanity as well as an act of faith knowing that as I carry my brokenness in the light, God will faithfully transform me into a man who is fully redeemed.

At the opening of the cave stands my wife, holding our son, as well as my family and my friends.

A cool wind blows as my eyes scan the landscape of my life.
Hills, Mountains, Valleys, Plains, this Cave.
My Life is panorama of beauty.
I've never forgotten that, but I have missed the view.

I look back into the cave.
Never again will this cave be a place of fear or a place of self-loathing.
It is merely a place of solace.
The DDP is no more.