DOG DIARY - VS - CAT DIARY

And now, for something a little...um, er...MUCH lighter than the DDP.
I saw this in an email once and thought it was very funny, so I wanted to repost it here so you, too, could have a laugh. Enjoy!

EXCERPTS FROM A DOG'S DAILY DIARY

8:00am - Dog food! My favorite thing!
9:30am - A car ride! My favorite thing!
9:40am - A walk in the park! My favorite thing!
10:30am - Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!
12:00pm - Lunch! My favorite thing!
1:00pm - Played in the yard! My favorite thing!
3:00pm - Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!
5:00pm - Milk bones! My favorite thing!
6:00pm - Oooh, bath. Bummer.
7:00pm - Got to play ball! My favorite thing!
8:00pm - Wow! Watched TV with people! My favorite thing!
11:00pm - Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!

EXCERPTS FROM A CAT'S DAILY DIARY

Day 983 of my captivity.

My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects.

The dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength.

The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet.

Today, I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely made condescending comments about what a "good little hunter" I am. Infidels!

There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to the power or "allergies." I must learn what this means and how to use it to my advantage.

Today, I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow --- but at the top of the stairs.

I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches. the dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released - and seems more than willing to return. He is obviously an idiot.

The bird has got to be an informant. I observe him communicating with the guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. My captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe. For now........