Thursday, August 26, 2010

DDP - Exit Journey Part 04

My Anger's attack has left me lying on the floor.
Every action on my part was met with a violent re-action by him.

Worthlessness, Pride, Doubt and Insignificance have recovered as my countless other shadows move in to pick the scraps. For the next several moments, what seems like an eternity, I am tossed about, kicked and abused by all of the dark shadows of my soul.

Next, I am picked up by a large, burly shadow: my Gluttony. That part of me who has insatiable cravings and refuses to tame them. He wraps his large arms around me in a bear-hug. My lungs collapse under crushing, vice-like grip of my vices.

When I near unconsciousness, he drops me back to the cavern floor.

I struggle for breath.

Just then, I feel something strange, something unfelt before this deep in the cave. A drop of water hits my hand. Then, a splash of cold water soaks the back of my neck.

I look up.

High above, near the mouth of the cave, I see the clouds parting. A ray of Light breaks into the dark cavern as drops of refreshing descend to the floor where I lie.

A Presence. There. Beside me.
A warmth. Comfort. Something so opposite of this cold, dark place.

Even while I was unable to cry out for help, Help has come to my rescue.
Here in the dark cave of my soul, surrounded by the enemies that have arisen against me, Hope is present. For the first time... in a long time... Hope. And a measure of Peace.

The battle ceases as a ray of light shines on the shattered mirror shards that are strewn about the cavern floor. A prism of colors illuminate the cave walls, as if I'm standing inside a mirror ball.

The shadows cower from the ray of light, but they do not disappear.

I stand to my feet and come face to face with my Shame.

Shame lowers his eyes and looks away from me, his reaction the same as mine when first I saw my dark reflection.

This time, instead of fighting or forcing a confrontation, I raise his chin with my hand.

Our eyes lock for the first time.

Face to face with my Shame, illuminated by the Light as rain falls around us. In Shame's eyes are a brokenness, a pain from every hurtful word ever spoken against me.

He lowers his eyes again, but I will not let him. I lift his head up in my hands. Together, we weep.

After a moment of acknowledging my Shame, I turn toward the other Shadows of my soul and say, "I refuse to ignore you... any of you, any longer."

Suddenly, the shadows begin to converge into one dark reflection again.

There, standing before me, is my greatest enemy: my Humanism.

(TO BE CONTINUED...)

No comments:

Post a Comment