Jesus Could Have Used Some PR

It's a shame that Jesus never hired a PR firm to rep him in the field of public opinion. A slick group of marketing gurus could have helped Jesus' career exponentially.

Forget the Kardashians! Jesus' name could have topped all the major headlines in mags like STAR, US WEEKLY and PEOPLE.

There's even a good chance that, with the right promotion, Jesus could have been TIME Magazine's Person Of The Year circa A.D.32.

But...sadly...instead...

...Jesus left his Public Relations to a bunch of Old Testament prophets. People like Isaiah --- curmudgeonly old rejects with a penchant for painting dire pictures of the man who is, unarguably, the single-most significant celebrity in the history of humanity.

In verses 2 and 3 of the 53rd chapter of his prophetic writings, Isaiah said of Jesus, "...He had no beauty or majesty to attract us to him, nothing in his appearance that we should desire him. He was despised and rejected by men, a man of sorrows, and familiar with suffering..."

Dude. Isaiah. Can you say buzz-kill...???

It's centuries before Jesus' arrival on Rome's red carpet, and you're responsible for promoting the King of Kings! The Messiah! The Savior of the World!

What is wrong with you?!?!?

How about headlines like, "King of the Jews Feeds 5,000 in One Sitting"...???
Or, for the more enviro-politically-conscious, how about "Jesus Walks Town-To-Town Promoting 'Green' Lifestyle"...???

With some better PR, Jesus could have been loved by the crowds of his day, instead of being "despised and rejected".

Plus, Isaiah, Jesus tells me that I'm supposed to be like him. However, I'll bet you didn't take me into consideration at all; did you?

Don't you know: you could have made MY life easier if you would have prophesied a more media-friendly, more celebrity-friendly, more financially-friendly lifestyle for Jesus? Isaiah, you should've listened to Andrew Lloyd Webber's musical ahead of time and prophecied Jesus as a superstar?

Couldn't Jesus have just followed a broader path to success? That would be so much easier on me!